♥ mellylicious.me-spin me silly ♥

Saturday, October 30, 2010 { 3:31 AM }

"외톨이야 , 외톨이야, 외톨이야 , 외톨이야 "

봐봐 나를 봐봐 똑바로 내 두 눈을 봐
거봐 이미 너는 딴 곳을 보고 있어
check it ,one two three, 시계바늘만 쳐다 보는 게
말 안 해도 다른 사람 생긴걸 알아

oetoriya, oetoriya, daridiridara du~~ (:

shit. watching wgm's horror episode is giving me the horrible irregular heartbeats again. sighs, now i'm afraid to sleep again, in fear that i feel that same thing i felt 3 months ago, that changed me as a person for a long while... );

i wonder...if i got so used to being single, will i not wanna get attached again? i'm finally slowly getting used to singlehood... ahhh. not good. not good. bad bad...

mum paid for my mascara today and bought me a japanese haba loda face mosturising milk cause she wants me to start my skincare regime. :| also bought biore facial scrub from watsons.

also bought my macro textbook. shall start on it soon.

oh my, seriously not feeling so well already. shall force myself to go sleep. its 3.45am. 15 minutes earlier again.

yonghwa♥ yonghwa♥ yonghwa♥ yonghwa♥

Friday, October 29, 2010 { 12:34 PM }

いいゆうぎです！i totally didnt hear any of my alarm clock ring! urgh. and now i missed CF class. doomed. now eating breakfast while the rest have been in class for 35 minutes. oh dear me. ):
gotta go study for marketing quiz. have about 1 and a half hours to study. goodness gracious ohmytian. ):

{ 3:30 AM }

i am gonna try to sleep 15-30 minutes earlier each day, until i achieve 2 am. slept at 4.15am ytd...so i shall sleep by 3.45am today. need to get rid of the weird sleeping timings!

gaaa. can someone put me in something like wgm too? i see how those paired up as couples, become good friends (or more) afterwards and i'm really envious! *frowns sadly*

chum liao. i havent studied for my marketing quiz. GG me. lol. :(
shall try to wake up at 9.30am and study. (lazy to change color already. bedtime bedtime~!)

yonghwa is loved. (;
especially when he sings "i'm a loner" and "love light"! ahhhh. *drools*

p.s. dad wants to go play rockband with me, bro and sis. lol! (:

Thursday, October 28, 2010 { 4:09 AM }

♥ Jung Yonghwa ♥ ! i want a guy like him! :| oh dear, i'm being so unrealistic here.

listening to: SNSD - 첫눈에...(Snowy Wish). its nice. (:

Wednesday, October 27, 2010 { 12:28 AM }

why. i decided not to join lifesaving even though i wanted to, because i know i will see you or hear about you. so i went for bowling, and now my bowling coach david knows you because he's from the dive shop liasing with you. why do i have to hear your name everywhere i go? it haunts me. it really does.

you're the one who don't wanna be friends, you're the one who cold-heartedly broke up with me, then could i beg you to please just stop haunting me? i hear the same 3 words everywhere i go, your full name.

i think i tell everyone i've gotten over it, but when coach mentioned you today, it triggered emotions inside me again. i told myself i'm over you. but if i am, will i be angry? and why would i come home to look back at those photos of you and me, of the past? i have accepted the fact that its not even remotely possible to be together again, but i guess deep down inside, a small part of me, still feels the twinge of hurt & sorrow of having loved you so much.

please. おねがい, please stop letting me hear about you. i wanna move on. i really do. i dont like the feeling of being left behind and watch you get attached again.

bowling today was fun with maggie mee, yiyong, kenny.H and daryl. (:
but coach made me embarassed today. my tank top was kinda inappropriate for bowling even though i wore a jacket over. uhhh. so i zao genged. ohmytian. ): and coach went to disturb me about mr. president. ARghhh!!! thats the most taboo part! and president can still say "feel free to come and find me when you're there. we could have a cup of coffee or something". ALAMAK. shys -_-" thanks coach. i love you so much for that. AHHhhhhh.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010 { 12:34 AM }

created a new blog because i find that the more i disclose my blog add to others, the more i can't blog about my everyday life, especially when the people involved in my life are reading my blog.

today's macro class, total gone case. i'm freakin' out already. i know i need to start studying, but i just don't have the mood to, especially when exams are 7 months away, and there's playful kiss with Kim Hyun Joong! and Personal Taste with Lee Min Ho! and We Got Married with YongHwa and Seohyun to watch. Even if i didn't use my brains to think, it's obvious which one you'd rather do too right! ottokke yo?! aigoo...

so many happenings within the short time span of one and a half months. qj is outta my life, i came clean that all i could offer was friendship because i couldnt forget that incident in the past. it's stopping me from getting closer to him, physically. i'd just flinch when i go too near. i'm freaked out by what another friend said to me and am not gonna meet him anytime soon either.
i find myself distancing from guys these days. it's probably an involuntary action, probably just my body and my heart telling me to shield myself against any more hurt relationships can give?

and once again, my new eyecandy, is doing something related to water sports. urgh. whatever.

am just glad to have a few reliable true friends to depend on to make me smile more these days. (: am more or less over him. i'd rather drool over unrealistic stuffs like yonghwa and hyunjoong than think of realistic, not as cute, and stupid people who have only made me cry! (:

when will i ever find someone i'm comfortable with and have feelings for?

to be honest, i seriously doubt love will ever come knocking again. indulging in korean romance dramas too often only shows us the hard fact of reality. i've become so skeptical after 2 failed relationships, out of which, one which i put in my whole heart to love.

anyways, enough of negative thoughts.
i had my ddubokki crave satisfied today!
and i drank gong cha @ plaza singapura for the first time today. taro milk is not too bad, cause i'm a yam lover! but i find it a little bland, as in the milk taste. it feels kinda diluted imo. but then again, it could be due to the 50% sugar level i chose. koi's 50% is so damn sweet, but this one is..erm...their 100% is probably koi's 50%. lol.
yum yum yum. am a happy girl. but looking at the rate my tummy is growing, i'd better start doing something soon mans ):

painting nails tomorrow! what color should i paint? and ohhdear. i feel my fingers starting to feel a little painful again, is it gonna swell again??? ): but i have bowling training! boohoo. grr. rant rant.

i'm blessed to have friends who care, and parents who love me to bits, and siblings to pamper and squabble with. it makes my days so much easier & happier. (:

listening to: CN Blue-Love Light & SNSD-Tell me Your Wish (Genie)